In the hills

 In a selfish endeavour to cool my soul,

Chose the hills as stress burster parols.

As I ascended I took brief pause,

To adjust my ears to the silence across.

 

Have you heard those buzzing sound,

Though not of sea or man made or found.

I knew them since I am born to Bourne,

Summer in hills under the cottony sojourne.

 Those are the ferns leaves stand tall to stalk,

The miseries of man in he womb of rock.

 I saw your yellow bird behind its leaves,

It tried until it whistles to the breeze

 I saw a fuzzy hut with a turnished red roof

Small dresses cover the fences barring grooves 

I know they care not the dust or smoke

But bear the byproducts of  weekenders joke

Do you think I can live here for ages to come

With the same vibes and aura that numb

If love loses the spirit before you die

What you are living is nothing but lie.

How am I

 I don't bother to tell you how I am

Sleepless nights

Churning memoirs 

Disrupted thought

Bursting desires

Me fertile, still mother of an orphaned child.

I don't bother to ask you how you are

Chocked breathe

Rotten wreath

Hide and seek with tender death

I don't give a shit to how we are.

Falsehood

Chocked to live, not to die
Pants to breathe a slice of life.
She needs to defer with the world.

She longs, she cribs, she wrestles
in a world that resists to fill empty vessles.
She thought she defers with the world.

Once a fresh air stroke her soul,
A magical whistle dipped in a holy bowl.
Now, she defers with the world.

How pity are those moments that trick on us,
Steal sanity, kill vanity, never let you pass.
 Still she believes she defers with the world.

It was when she came to know, the nocturnal wind belongs to the trees,
The whistle is to charm the breeze,
She failed to defer with the world!

Ode to my Son

Though I know no wrong lives,

Yet guilt is building a nest within;

Little eyes soaked in innocence asks,

Hug to dissolve the gap between;

Just as sun warms the earth,

And hides when you retire for the day,

Next day returns to keep his oath,

Shinning on the heaps of hay;

If sun, sans a womb or heart,

Adheres to the oath it made;

Then I ought to play a role smart,

To bring dimple smile by warmth I spread;

Cord that linked us for nine months,

Still feel it at its place;

For I wet when you are hungry,

And anxious when you are awake;

Into lane unknown

Thought leaks deep into the memory lane,
A lane,untrodden, hidden from the world.
I console heart,'Only once and no more again'.

For rain has defeated the challenge of drought
Green is back with more colors
Meaning for new life has been sought

Then let not the memory leak into lane unknown,
for it can only bring tears to eyes
and give reasons to others to frown

The lady

Yesterday evening I left from office at 5:30. The whole day I suffered from cough and cold consequently was tired too. But alas! The traffic jam from Gurgaon to Dhaula Kuan was miserable and my colleague and I got stuck in the sucking jam for 4 hours. She dropped me in Dhaula Kuan and I had to take a DTC bus to Karol bag. A single bus was not available to reach at least half way to my destination. Finding no other option, I got up in a private bus (which in Delhi is considered to be unsafe for ladies after a certain time at night).

The bus was crowded and I got up from the backdoor. The conductor’s seat was empty and I decided to capture that and unburden myself by taking off the 5 kg laptop bag from my shoulder. There was a lady beside me in shabby clothes and disheveled hair. From the very beginning she was trying to be pally with me. I ignored her initially but later on when I discovered that she speaks English and Bengali apart from Hindi, I was impressed. Whatever information she was trying to squeeze out was not very confidential but I had a suspicious eye on her. After travelling for about half a kilometer the conductor asked me to vacate the seat as he wanted to rest his butt too. Very timidly I moved out of the place and kept standing and shaking as the bus moved on.

The lady, in the meanwhile, was holding by bag and did not want me to take any pain. She suddenly asked me if I am interested to travel down to Patel Nagar with her and then we can take an auto rickshaw. I was suspicious but finding this to be a great option could not restrain myself. She had to go to Rohini which was quite far away (Patel Nagar comes on the way if you take the road) and she wanted a company as security was our primary concern. When I decided to say yes, I also decided to enquire her which I was not interested into even before 5 mins. This lady, draped in shabby and not so expensive clothes and a bindi on her forehead is a console manager working in a logistics company and her husband is a pilot in Indian Airlines. Hmmm…. Not bad. Actually we should never judge anyone by cloths. Anyway you can never trust someone by words as well.

Karolbag arrived. We got down from the bus and took a rickshaw to reach the nearest auto stand. It took 20 bucks and I paid off. She requested to pay him but I didn’t care. None of the autos, in the stand, were willing to drive down to Rohini. I had metro as an alternative but for that I would have had to depend on my father-in-law to fetch me from the metro station which would have been a tough job for him. Meanwhile we could convince an auto driver who was willing to drive down to Rohini if we pay him 100 bucks (which is actually a very big amount). We agreed at once and boarded on it.

The journey was short and I reached very close to my home. I took out 100 bucks and was about to pay the auto driver but the lady was unwilling at the proposal and wanted to pay the whole amount herself and even an extra 10 bucks which the driver demanded after we had started off from karol bag. In the auto we exchanged our cell numbers and some friendly information. I got down at my destination and safely reached home. The lady called me up once she reached her home too assuring that I have had no issues.

I am really impressed by her gesture. Neither it is because of the money nor because of her friendly attitude but what pleased me is that, she proved me wrong. I thought Delhi is a very unsafe place and most of the people out here attempt to play nasty when a young girl is on the street especially at night. I built up several thoughts as what should I do if the lady takes out a knife from her purse, if she tries to play any trick on me and more. But she actually helped me reach home safe and sound. We are now friends. We are in touch over phone and it’s been quite some time that we are exchanging warm messages. Actually hooligans and miscreants are there around us, be it at night or day, but our suspicion is just increasing their number.

Had I not went with this lady for this adventurous ride I would have told this story to my parents and friends in a different note. I might have had said, ‘My God this lady was trying to kidnap me……..’ My parents and friends would have had thanked my presence of mind for not riding the auto with her ………..and more. But no wonder what risk factor I had to take I enjoyed her company and felt happy thinking that good people are there after all we live in the heart of the country.

Truth about Equality

Equality is vague, equality is untrue. I don't believe in this word. Even I try to practice it but fail to be honest with myself.

Our thought has several layers, one beneath the other, I try to tear up each layer and head for the inner most. But no wonder how many layers I tear off, I would never be able to reach the innermost.

The innermost layer which is probably the last one has everything embedded in it. Everything is referred to 'the truth of equality'. If anyone can ever reach there, he or she will exactly know if he can be honest with equality.

I am feeling very said these days as I am a fake practitioner as well as a victim of fake practitioners of equality. They say he and I are both equal. Statement calms ears for a while but not the soul for it lacks application. Discrimination and inequality is one of the quietest diseases from which humanity suffers. If you nurture you personality, self-esteem and self-respect it will hurt else it becomes a part of life.

When it attacks me, I protest, I shout, I scream to get rid of it but alas! I forget that diseases that have no visibility are hard to be diagnosed and cured. Thinking this, I consider adjustment as the only curative to my pains caused by inequality and discrimination.